I grew up in a suburban township that used to be on the rim of Salt Lake City, Utah. It is now called, Cottonwood Heights and is officially a city. My family: Mom, Dad, two boys, two girls. Middle class with an upper middle class facade that defines Cottonwood Heights. The reason I have this little introduction is to put everything in perspective so that I may better explain growing up Mormon in Salt Lake City Suburbia.
Facade. That is the key to Cottonwood Heights. And the base of Cottonwood Heights? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was officially ABLE to leave the Church at the age of 18, thanks to the divorce of my parents (but I will get to that later).
Looking back on my childhood (I am now 21), I wish I had been more outspoken. I wish I could have been that loud mouthed girl that raises hell with both fingers up to Mormon patriarchy. But I was not that person. I had my opinions in my brain, but I was the type to just bend over and take it.
I first realized what the Church was when I was 13 years old. There was a lesson in my Young Women class about friendship. The teacher talked about how people who smoke and drink are bad. They should not be trusted, and will pull you down into “outer darkness.” I have grandparents and cousins that drink, and I thought…. what? They are not bad people… they are wonderful. STRIKE 1 FOR THE MORMONS.
Then I started doing some research. And I found… polygamy in the afterlife. STRIKE 2 FOR THE MORMONS.
From then on I mentally/spiritually left the Mormon Church. Now, this was not off of a whim. I read the Bible and the Book of Mormon 3 times each… I studied the doctrine.. and I decided it wasn’t for me. I did not have a resentment for the church. Later, the resentment came. And that resentment (STRIKE 3) was prompted by the divorce of my parents in 2007.
I have NEVER seen so much animosity. If you are not Mormon, you may visualize this kind of animosity with verbal comments to the face or something like that. Oh no… no no no no no. Complete social ostracization. You thought you had friends, but then you realize it was all a facade. A facade that dictates the confines of their lives and actions.
After this, I started to develop my freedom. I never knew happiness until I was able to break away from that misogynistic brain washing. When I was 18 my entire family is in one giant shit storm, so I was completely at liberty to… basically… GET THE FUCK OUT.
And I did.
If anything I feel so sorry for all of the women that are still stuck in that rut. If they have experienced the opposite and have chosen to live life as a mormon woman, that’s fine by me. But do NOT condone the brain washing.
Later I will have to write about Prop. 8…. that’s a whole other shit fucked up story.